From Huskies To Husbands

I am so happy that today is Friday!!  Now to just get through the day as it is a super busy one!  I have freelance work to do today then I have my second interview (via the phone) on the insurance position this afternoon.  We are supposed to have an early dinner up at the Dip because of my interview and DHs meeting tonight.  LOL - I swear he has more meetings about town business than he has anything else lately!

We picked up some orders today from the PA for Monday in preparation for my follow up visit with him on Tuesday.  It looks like about 6 to 8 blood tests and 2 different x-ray series on the hip area.  He kind of has me and himself I think too freaked out a little that because the other doctors kind of brushed me off that there could be irreversible damage to the hip bones themselves that could eventually lead to me having to get hip replacements.  Something about how the bone itself seems to feel like it is burning along with the typical sacroiliitis pain and how it is now spreading from just the right to also involve the left side.  He mentioned restricted blood flow could cause it and so could a massive infection… I stopped the cranberry juice again for a few days and guess what the high right kidney pain is back and I have other typical symptoms of urinary tract infection - So weird!!  I hope that all these tests give us the information that we need to figure this all out and get me on the track to getting better.

I know this will sound super weird but I miss working out!!  I miss my time on the Wii Fit and the strength training videos that I was doing from SparkPeople too!  I had so much more energy when I was exercising regularly and I was really loving the changes that I was seeing in my body even if I wasn’t really losing much weight according to the scale I could see the changes and feel the changes in my clothing so I know it was working.  It seems so weird to me that I seem to have all these medical problems that have mostly began only after I began my quest to lose weight and get healthy.  Well that isn’t entirely true - Back in the summer of 2006 when I was at my highest weight and finally getting the Depo Provera worked out of my system I had some serious “female problems” that resulted in a proceedure and a diagnosis of PCOS.  I began taking daily medication for the PCOS and that seemed to help with the “female problems” as well as some of the other issues that the PCOS was causing.  I also joined SparkPeople because I was told I had to lose weight especially because of the PCOS if I ever was going to have any chance at all of concieving.  Well, obviously concieving was something that we wanted sine I was coming off of the Depo Provera.  I guess God had other plans though.  Anyhow that first year and a half of dieting and healthy living led to me losing a lot of weight about 90 lbs from about 275 lbs to about 185 lbs.  During that time we realized that I was having more and more trouble breathing when trying to increase my exercise and that my allergies were worsening dramatically.  I maintained at about 185 lbs for about 4 months and then in the early spring of 2008 I was rushed into emergency gall bladder surgery.  I had a difficult recovery from the surgery and really was feeling betrayed by my body.  Due to the breathing and allergy issues I had been having I was sent down to National Jewish Health in Denver to have a full workup for asthma and allergy done - A week of living out of a hotel room while having a myriade of tests done trying to determine what was going on with me.  We found out that I have vocal cord dysfunction as well as asthma, a lot of airborne allergies, silent but severe GERD, and surprisingly not classically allergic to the foods that previously I had been allergic to.  A new medication regimen was implimented to get the asthma and allergy under control, and I began to breathe better!!  I was so happy and began to attempt to build up my exercise levels again.  Then in the summer of 2008 I began to have the collar bone and shoulder dislocations which are so incredibly painfull and the doctors thought that it was a mix of my great flexibility and the steriods in my asthma and allergy medications that were the cause, but that we didn’t want to mess with the medications due to breathing being so important!  I learned movements to avoid and overall the collar bone and shoulder issue is managable.  Later in the summer of 2008 is when the gastrointestinal issues really started…  I had always had mild “digestive issues” but suddenly this was something that was taking over my life.  I was living in the bathroom with issues from both ends, and the abdominal pain and cramping would literally double me over crying at times.  So back to National Jewish Health in Denver we go to see a gastrointerologist.  I can not tell you how many trips back and forth we made there over the next about 5 months, some requiring stays of 2 and 3 days at a time and some just day trips.  I had every test known to man done trying to figure out what was going on - including endoscopy, colonoscopy, gastric emptying, 2 CT scans, 2 MRIs, small bowel series, x-rays, blood work ups, more allergy testing, 24 hour urine collections, and so much more.  DH and I were searching the internet and asking anyone and everyone we could find if they had any ideas of what was going on with me as seriously it was out of control.  Eventually someone mentioned dairy intolerance to DH and even though the blood and skin allergy tests said no we tried it, and low and behold the vomitting after eating stopped the other end issues reduced and I began to feel human again.  I kept a food diary for a month and a half to show the GI specialist and while she was shocked to see it was the dairy she too was happy to have some kind of partial answer.  I was still having some problems with the pain and spasms and such so I was diagnosed with IBS and began another new medication for that issue.  Everything was going pretty good for 3 whole months!!!  I was living dairy free and had began to exercise again and was really trying to focus on eating healthier to lose the almost 40 lbs that I had put back on during all the medical stuff that had happened since my gall bladder removal.  Then in February of 2009 the kidney, lower back and hip pain began, I could not belive that it was happening again.  I feel like - “Why me?”  I am trying to do the right things, I want to be healthy and active, I want to feel good and live life!!  If you have been reading my blog then you know all about this medical saga already.  I still am just in shock at how the initial doctors treated me concerning this, about the delays in doing anything about the CT results or even just getting me the information about those results.  And now with the new PA actually caring and trying to help me I am scared that my life will never be the same again and that I am truely and utterly broken.  I am scared that at 34 years of age I am left to live a life filled with pain, pain that causes me to be on the verge of tears just from walking around the grocery store doing my shopping.  I am scared that this is the death nail in my desire to ever concieve children let alone be able to care for adopted children.  So many unanswered questions, and so much fear of the unknown.  I know that God has to have a plan for me and that is why all of this is happening, but for the life of me I surely can not figure it out.

WOW that was long and convoluted!!