From Huskies To Husbands

I am honest with myself and others about the fact that I suffer from depression and PMDD (Premenstrual dysphoric disorder).  (For more information on this topic check out this site http://www.womensmentalhealth.org/specialty-clinics/pms-and-pmdd/?gclid=COzm0JXNuZgCFQHHGgodEUfpag)   At times I feel the depression weighing me down like a ton of bricks on my shoulders much worse than other times.  I am not on medication for either of these issues currently - Mostly because I am sick of being a guinea pig and trying all kinds of new medications only to have them make me feel worse instead of better.  I had gone that route for about a year straight at one point and the result was that I found a lot of medications that almost killed me.  So, for now at least, I just deal with it and try to be cognitive of when the weight is beginning to press down and try to keep myself from falling down into the black abyss.

Some signs for me that I am falling down into the black abyss are

• I either start sleeping more or start sleeping less - a change in sleep habits.
• I stop caring about showering or taking care of myself in the most basic ways.
• I cry a lot and about almost anything or I get angry a lot and about almost anything.
• I become unpredictable in almost every aspect of my life.
• I pretty much refuse to leave the house for any reason what so ever.

Needless to say after writing this I realize that I am not just on the edge of the black abyss looking down into it - I have fallen in and am looking back up from the bottom.  So, off to exercise and shower then hopefully get some of the things done around the house that I have let slide.  Hopefully this will help me to begin the process of climbing back up out of the black abyss.

I thought that as a THANK YOU to my top droppers from www.entrecard.com that I would post them here on my blog.

So a huge thank you to everyone that stops by and gives me some drop love, but especially to these top 10.  So, go check them out!  You might get turned on to a new blog that you didn’t know you couldn’t live without! 

1.  Retro Yakking - Northern humour, parody news and local issues  http://retroyakking.today.com/

2.  Sports 2000 - How to Understand Sports in the Third Millennium  http://sports2000.today.com/

3.  Politics 2000 - How to Understand Politics in the Third Millennium  http://politics2000.today.com/

4.  Diet Recipes Blog - Free low calorie recipes!  http://dietrecipesblog.com/

5.  Your Dark Passenger - THE Source for Darkly Delighting Thoughts  http://darkpassenger.today.com/

6.  Life With Roxxymetal - All Things Random  http://roxxymetal.com/

7.  RockBlog - Blogging About Music That Rocks  http://rockblog.today.com/

8.  The Copper Cauldron  http://thecoppercauldron.blogspot.com/

9.  Being Bipolar - Learning to live with Bipolar Disorder  http://beingbipolar.today.com/

10.  Foodarrific  http://foodarrific.com/

My friend over at http://peacecooking.blogspot.com/ has bestowed upon me The Lemonade Award!  This is my first award and I am pretty excited about it :)  This award is given to blogs which show great attitude and or gratitude.

Now for the rules…

Rules for the award:

1. Put the logo on your blog or post.
2. Nominate at least 10 blogs which show great Attitude and/or Gratitude!
3. Be sure to link to your nominees within your post.
4. Let them know that they have received this award by commenting on their blog.
5. Nominate your favorites and link to this post.

And my nominees are…

1. http://thepowerofme.today.com

2. http://greysandthings.today.com/

3. http://annebianca.com/

4. http://recoveryrocks.today.com/

5. http://www.mylittleone-jacob.com/

6. http://beingbipolar.today.com/

7. http://www.yeunglei.com/

8. http://duckandwheelwithstring.blogspot.com/

9. http://www.childresshousehold.blogspot.com/

10. http://momskitchencooking.blogspot.com/

So, check out some of these other great blogs

This week so far we have had two days where the roads were totally closed due to weather conditions.  As some of you know DH drives 120 miles round trip to work each day, well he called for permission both times and both times was told no.  Our town maintenance workers live 20 miles away over in the next town, they both called and asked for permission to come to work and were told no also.  Almost everyone that I spoke to that asked for permission to go was told no.  Notice that I said almost everyone?

Here is where it starts to get a little crazy… The school district has been granted permission both times to send not only the school bus full of children across the closed roads, but also all of the teachers, maintenance workers, and such.  So it is OK for a school but full of children to go across the same closed roads that it is not OK for men in 4 wheel drive vehicles?  High profile easily blown around school buses with no seat belts or air bags are safe on roads covered with drifted snow and ice and being pelted with extremely high winds?  Ummmm I am confused…

I am especially confused since there is a “snow day” policy and not being utilized.  Why is it that we are not sending the JR and SR High School students to the local elementary school here in town and having the teachers that live here (about 5 or 6 teachers) take care of the teaching.  Send the lesson plans over via fax, the necessary pages from their books sent over via fax or even keep a copy of each here and just copy them - It isn’t like the students are going to fall behind in following this plan.  It isn’t like there will be extra days tagged on to the end of school by following this plan.  It isn’t like there will be extra absences because of following this plan.  I just do not get why they are sending children on buses over closed roads, and especially why they are giving permission for that but not for other reasons such as work that truly only risk the life of the person going instead of numerous lives of children.

Do people not respect the value of life anymore?  Or is it that they only respect some life?  I for one if I had children  would not have let my children get on that bus.  But then again I guess I am not normal or average because I only know of one family that did say no to allowing their children to go.

So, what would you do?  How do you feel about this whole situation?  Let me know!!

As you know from the previous post, my DH is home today again.  He wanted something to munch on so I whipped this up.  DH used to be anti-tofu until I started having all my problems with dairy.  Now he eats it in so many things that it isn’t even funny.  Actually he doesn’t even know all the things he eats it in!

Dairy Free Spinach Dip
Yes, this recipe has tofu in it.
No, you wont taste it.
You will be happy that it is in there as it adds a great texture to the dip!

Ingredients:
1 packet of Knorr Vegetable Recipe Mix
2 10 oz boxes frozen spinach, thawed and drained well
6 scallions, chopped
2 cloves garlic, minced
1/2 lb silken tofu
1 cup mayonnaise
1 cup Tofutti Better Than Sour Cream
1 tsp sesame oil
2 tbs lemon juice
2 tbs soy sauce

Directions:
Put everything into the food processor and blend well.
Chill well.
Serve with tortilla chips, pretzels, or raw veggies.

DH is home again today due to the roads being closed because of the almost 2 feet of snow we have and the tremendous Wyoming wind.  Today is the second day this week of him being home due to the roads, at least I got a little break from him as he got to go to work on Tuesday.  Yes, I love my DH or else I would not have married him.  But, there is such a thing as having him around too much!!  It interferes with my day and me getting my usual things done - Basically it is an inconvenience.

Now about this snow… While we need the snow as it is the main source of water in our drought ridden state, at times it is a real pain - Roads get shut down, accidents happen, there is all the shoveling that needs to be done, life gets interrupted.  It is beautiful to look at but beautiful can be deadly.   Last night I couldn’t sleep for the sound of the wind driven snow pelting the house, it sounded like well I can’t even describe it!  Actually this is one of the first real snows that we have had this winter.  So to say that we needed it would be an exageration!  I just hope that this isn’t the beginning of the end and the huge snows just keep coming and coming.  I hope that many many light snows and not huge blizzards are in my future!

I woke up this morning just not feeling well and having a lot of digestive issues, not just IBS issues but more than that.  I don’t really feel up to doing my Boot Camp video and my required cardio time, but because it is a challenge I feel obligated to just “man up” and work out anyhow.  So, far I just have not had the energy and haven’t been able to do either the video or my cardio.  All I really have accomplished today is 4 freelance articles - 2 for each of my current projects.  Yeah, basically either in the bathroom or in front of the computer what great fun!  I do not want to break my exercise streak, but I don’t want to push my body too hard or too far either.  I don’t want to make myself worse!  So, here I sit with this inner debate going on in my head.  Do I work out or do I not work out?  I don’t know which side is going to win at this point.  I want it to be the go work out side, but physically at least so far today that is just impossible.

I was up until about 3 am this morning, trying to figure out what was going on with our internet.  Entrecard was just not working even though the internet was running although slowly.  I did all the normal stuff to check to make sure it wasn’t my system - disk clean up, defragment, virus scan and such - Nothing really out of place.  Then I wondered if it was firefox messing up… Well it doesn’t appear that is the problem, but instead that something - I don’t know what has done something to internet explorer.  IE just will not work period and acts very screwy when I even attempt to open it.  Great it looks like some lovely virus has invaded my computer and I can’t seem to find with my current virus protection software, so I can’t even attempt to fix it.  Needless to say very frustrating and making working on the internet very very difficult.  I can’t do my drops for entercard; and I am so behind on my freelance work that it isn’t even funny, but that at least isn’t just because of the internet issues.

I got a call at 7 am after what about 3 1/2 hours of sleep - Could I come in to work ASAP?  Well, I need the money so yes was my answer.  I got up there by 7:30 am and ended up working well past the shift change at 2 pm as the next shift didn’t show up until about 3:30 pm.  Needless to say that was not fun at all.

Then I get home and have to cook dinner even though DH was home all day from work due to being unable to get to work because of the roads being closed for weather.  We have gotten over a foot of snow since Sunday.  Nice huh?  I did at least still work out for Boot Camp - How, I am not sure though as I am utterly exhausted…  I just want to get this posted (crosses fingers that the internet and virus don’t sabotage me again like it has twice already in trying to write this), eat some dinner and go to bed.

I hope that everyone else has had a better day than me!

Yes, you read that right.  Yesterday we spent the majority of our day at the “local” high school gym supporting the basketball teams.  Let me tell you it was weird just being in a high school.  Since I didn’t grow up here, I had never even been in the building before.  As you know we don’t have children of our own, so you might be wondering why we were even there.  Well for a few reasons… DH is mayor of our small town and even though our high school kids get bussed 20 plus miles to the next town over for school he is trying to show his support; DH also is the fill in pastor at a church in that next town over so more people to show support to; my FIL is one of the high school science teachers; and FIL and MIL do the clock and books at the home games.  A lot of reasons to go, at least in his mind.

It was weird being there even though I knew a few of the kids playing and a few more of the parents and grandparents.  To begin with it is in the next town over which I only go to for church.  The church is small in membership so I really don’t know many people there.  Add in the fact that even though I have lived in our small town for about 3 years and in this state for almost 6 years I am still considered the new girl, an outsider if you will; even though I married a local boy from our small town.  I guess I don’t quite understand that part… How after 3 years and working up at the cafe here in town for over 6 months and having the mayor for a husband am I still an unknown in my own community?  I kind of understand about the next town over - relations aren’t great between the two towns, never have been never will be I guess.  I understand that closing down the high school here in our small town was rough on the residents, but they didn’t have that many kids really to have a high school.  The next town over is a slightly bigger small town so they sent our kids there, but they also sent the other small town (even smaller than ours) which is the same distance basically just in another directions kids there too when they shut down their high school.  Yes, it was a huge blow for our community but it happened years ago - over 10 years agao - So why are our small town kids still treated with a stigma our your a “Bow kid” not a “Hanna kid”.  That just doesn’t seem fair to me, but then again what in high school was fair?

Wow, I can’t believe it has been 3 weeks since I started Boot Camp over at www.sparkpeople.com already.  It seems like just a few days ago that this whole me exercising thing began.  Some of the Boot Camp videos are getting easier though which I am looking at as a positive!  I also have been able to extend my time on the Wii Fit fitness wise if not time crunch wise over the course of the last few weeks.  The craziest part to me is that I have not missed a single day so far (knock on wood) even if it meant that I was working out at 9 pm after a long hard day that began at 4 am.  I guess that means that this exercise thing is becoming a habit and a real change in lifestyle.  I already can’t wait for our Wyoming winter with its freezing temperatures, snow, and wind to go away so that I can start riding my bike, walking on the track and maybe even try that whole Couch To 5K thing again.  I want to be more active - I think I even like how it makes me feel!! 

Tomorrow is another weigh in and measurement day.  I hope that I see progress on the scale and the tape for the hard work that I have been putting in.  The progress just makes it easier to keep going hard with the exercise, but even if there isn’t much progress on the scale and tape I can feel the changes in my body and I think that they are good ones!!