From Huskies To Husbands

I am honest with myself and others about the fact that I suffer from depression and PMDD (Premenstrual dysphoric disorder).  (For more information on this topic check out this site http://www.womensmentalhealth.org/specialty-clinics/pms-and-pmdd/?gclid=COzm0JXNuZgCFQHHGgodEUfpag)   At times I feel the depression weighing me down like a ton of bricks on my shoulders much worse than other times.  I am not on medication for either of these issues currently - Mostly because I am sick of being a guinea pig and trying all kinds of new medications only to have them make me feel worse instead of better.  I had gone that route for about a year straight at one point and the result was that I found a lot of medications that almost killed me.  So, for now at least, I just deal with it and try to be cognitive of when the weight is beginning to press down and try to keep myself from falling down into the black abyss.

Some signs for me that I am falling down into the black abyss are

• I either start sleeping more or start sleeping less - a change in sleep habits.
• I stop caring about showering or taking care of myself in the most basic ways.
• I cry a lot and about almost anything or I get angry a lot and about almost anything.
• I become unpredictable in almost every aspect of my life.
• I pretty much refuse to leave the house for any reason what so ever.

Needless to say after writing this I realize that I am not just on the edge of the black abyss looking down into it - I have fallen in and am looking back up from the bottom.  So, off to exercise and shower then hopefully get some of the things done around the house that I have let slide.  Hopefully this will help me to begin the process of climbing back up out of the black abyss.